The Truth About Stress: What it Really is (and Isn’t)
How We Get Stress Wrong
A lot of us think that stress is the enemy… something to fight off, or eliminate. But the reality is, stress is a tool. It’s a signal that lets us know whether we’re working at our full potential or going beyond what’s manageable for us right now.
That capacity can shift depending on many things: your current skill set, what’s happening in your personal life, or even how you’ve been handling recent challenges. Some people overload themselves; others pull back too much. Both are forms of imbalance, and both are shaped by what your nervous system can handle right now.
In aviation terms, stress is like turbulence. It’s not a sign that something has gone wrong, it’s just a clue to pay attention. The mistake we often make is trying to suppress it, when in reality, stress is meant to be noticed. It’s your body’s way of prompting a check-in: “How am I doing, and do I need to adjust my approach before continuing this flight?”
“Knowing which of these stress responses you lean into is crucial... once you can clock it, you can knock it.”
The Real Purpose of Stress
Stress is a built-in safety mechanism… it’s your body’s version of a warning signal. I often talk to my clients about what I call the “Four Horsemen of the Stresspocalypse”: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn.
Most people are familiar with Fight and Flight. Freeze is starting to gain awareness too, but Fawn… better known as the tendency to over-accommodate or people-please, is often the least recognized, and ironically, the most common in aviation. It’s also one of the most impactful when it comes to training environments and operational safety.
Knowing which of these stress responses you tend to lean into is crucial. It’s like identifying which “emergency procedure” your system defaults to. Once you can clock it, you can knock it. Just like running through a checklist to stabilize the situation before continuing in flight.
When Stress Becomes a Problem
Stress becomes harmful when it’s constant or ignored. And in aviation, ignoring it isn’t just common... it’s expected. From the first day of training, we don’t talk about feelings, or stress, because we’re taught to push through. It is on the “I’M SAFE” checklist after all. But ignoring it can quietly lead to issues like decision fatigue, physical issues, burnout, or imposter syndrome.
Physically, stress can show up as sleep problems, stomach issues, or chronic tension. Mentally, it might feel like you’re blanking during stage checks or never doing enough, no matter how much you accomplish.
These are all signals, like a check engine light, trying to tell you something needs attention. When we don’t acknowledge those signals, stress doesn’t disappear; it just compounds, slowly draining from other areas of your life, your flight performance, and overall confidence.
Why Most Advice About Stress Misses the Mark
“Just relax.”
“Stay positive.”
We’ve all heard those, but they rarely help. In fact, this kind of surface-level advice (what’s now called toxic positivity) can make things worse by dismissing what your body is trying to communicate.
The truth is, everyone experiences stress, and everyone has a stress response. The key is learning which one is yours. When you understand it, you can start working with it instead of against it… reclaiming control rather than letting stress take the controls.
Pre-Flight Stress Check-In
Your “Pre-Flight Check-in": Gauge Your Current Zone
To help pilots and high performers recognize where they are on the stress spectrum, I created a quick Pre-Flight Stress Check-In.
It’s a two-minute, medically non-reportable self-test designed specifically for aviators and professionals who want to better understand their stress zones — from 🟢 Clear Skies (Green) to 🔴 High Risk (Red) and ⚫ Overload (Black).
👉 Take the 2-Minute Pre-Flight Stress Check-In Here
If you’d like to talk about what came up for you or explore practical tools to improve your regulation and resilience, I also offer a *FREE* 15-minute Discovery Call where we can work together to identify what’s working, what’s not, and where you can start making sustainable changes.
Closing Reflection
Stress isn’t the problem. Ignoring it is.
Learning to read your stress signals is like improving your instrument scan… it helps you catch small shifts before they become major deviations. This is a skill I wish more of us were taught early in training, but I’m grateful to be able to share it now, from both experience and science-backed evidence.
💡 Remember: The goal isn’t to eliminate stress; It’s to fly through it with awareness and confidence.
Wishing you blue skies and happy landings ahead,
✈️ Shannon Torres, M.Ed. | Founder of Aviation Conversations
